Real resilience – stories from Australia’s first responders

Unprecedented in scale, Australia’s bushfires have presented extreme challenges for many first responders. We speak to NSW firefighters and paramedics about their personal experiences and most difficult days on the job. Find out what they encountered, what they are grateful for and what skills, strategies and actions they are making use of in recovering from these events.

Scott Hanley
Station Officer
City of Sydney Fire Station
NSW Fire and Rescue

What has been your most challenging day during the bushfires? Can you tell us a little about what was happening and how you felt through this day?

Most challenging day so far this bushfire season has been on the 21st of December at Bilpin.

We were briefed at the Emergency services academy early in the day that expected conditions were going to unprecedented and that we could expect flame heights up to 80m. None of us believed this as we had never in our careers encountered fire behavior that warranted fire like that.

The majority of the day was spent travelling, gathering info, and observing the fire from a distance until late in the afternoon there was a sudden wind change and within minutes we were over-run and at times fighting for our own safety. This created mixed emotions as we were all keen to help as much as possible and for the majority of the day we felt under-utilised however we we then absolutely flat-out for a number of hours in critical conditions and situations which required all of us to be at the top of our game. I remember at the end of the night when we had been released from the ESA sitting in my car with my head spinning, thinking ‘how am I sitting here in my car like nothing has happened when only an hour or two ago we were fighting to survive?’

As part of Mindarma, we encourage workers to create their own self-care plan for really tough days on the job. What are the actions you take to look after yourself following a difficult day? What brings you back to feeling more you?

After a tough day, especially situations such as Bilpin, I spend alot of time self reflecting not only on my actions and decisions but those of the crew and other people involved.

This helps to ensure I don’t second guess myself or others in the future and I can also call on various experiences in the future. By doing this I maintain confidence in my ability which is healthy for the mind and body. To feel more me I have a number of physical activities that help me relax and refresh such as surfing so no matter the situation or incident I have been involved with this makes me reset.

One of the most resilient actions we can take is to reach out for mindful support, whether that is from trusted friends, family members, colleagues, a peer supporter or a psychologist. Who are the people you go to and how does talking with them help?

I have a number of trusted colleagues on my shift as well as other fire fighters that I know and trust that I speak to and confide in following various events and incidents. I also have a friend I speak to regularly from another emergency service who gives me a different point of view which is invaluable. Often I will ensure I speak openly with the crew I have from a certain incident to ensure they are all OK but this also gives me a chance to hear their thoughts about the experience and I can then compare my own. I have also had contact with other personnel from an incident such as the day at Bilpin who prior to the day I didn’t know. I found that this was very beneficial for us both to speak and seek feedback on our actions and decisions both positive and negative. It also ended up forming a new bond.

After a crisis it can be helpful to engage in some activities that lift your spirits and bring you joy or to look after some of your values that may have been neglected. What are the things you look forward to spending more time on?

As I mentioned I have physical activities such as Surfing and cycling that help me relax and reset but there also things such as training and drill at work which gives me the chance to run through scenarios etc and increase my confidence which in turn makes me feel more in control at incidents.

Gratitude can help us to become more optimistic and resilient. What are the things these events have made you most thankful for?

These events have definitely made me grateful for the family I have and the life I live. We see so much devastation and loss it makes me never take anything for granted. It sounds very cliched but it is true in this example and I often tell my kids to live every day to the fullest. I am also grateful to be in the career I am. Despite some of the things we are exposed to, my job gives me the chance to be there when people need help on what could possibly be the worst day of their lives. This provides me with a huge sense of pride and fulfillment.

Do you have any words of wisdom or advice to share with your fellow first responders and those affected during this crisis?

No matter who you are or how long you have served the things we as first responders are being exposed to this bushfire season are unprecedented. Everyone needs to talk both on the positive and negative side of that experience. We all need to find what helps us whether it be one confidant or a number and express any thoughts, doubts, concerns or even triumphs. Often issues can stem from not being involved as well. This can be due to not being able to help because of other commitments or sometimes actually being there and not being called up or being down the street and not in the place which was impacted. I have personally felt this on a number of occasions for a number of reasons and actually found it harder to deal with in the first instance. Its something I have spoken to my friends at work about and talked through the feelings that stemmed from not being directly involved. I also believe its something our various services need to be more aware of as they are focused on the exposures from the actual events when the same focus should be put on the other side as well.

Peta Miller

Station Officer / Strike Team Charlie, Asset Protection Shoalhaven/Nowra/Kangaroo Valley/Wollondilly
Fire and Rescue NSW

What has been your most challenging day during the bushfires? Can you tell us a little about what was happening and how you felt through this day?

On Saturday the 4th Jan, I was on a Strike Team staged at ESA at 0800, around 1100 we were deployed under lights and siren to head down south to Shoalhaven as properties were being ‘lost’. As we got closer and the skies got darker we were tasked to a nearby nursing home, residents were sheltering in place. Once the fire front passed we were sent to the next suburb, we rapidly door knocked and spoke to locals discussing the situation, all decided to leave.

Again the sky went dark and the Southerly came in fast (really fast), my crew was prepared, hose lines ready. Once the front had passed, we packed up and went to the next location (Kangaroo Valley) where the front had hit as we arrived. We were tasked to protect the Water and Power plant, which was already under attack. We used hose lines to wet down unburnt areas and extinguish machinery that had caught alight. We were then urgently tasked to the next suburb, where houses were under ember attack.

Once we arrived, we again got the hose lines out and protected properties until the front had passed. By this stage it was 0300 and fatigue was setting in, liaising with the STL and discussing fatigue management plans (rotating roles/drivers/recline rotations) , when a call came in that Wollondilly had no fire protection and the fire front was headed straight for it. As a team, our crews got together and assessed welfare and fatigue, it was decided as a team that we proceed to Wollondilly and then we would head home.

When we arrived we were too late, as the town had copped the brunt of the fire and there were not many homes left. We again extinguished as much as we could using the limited water we had. We proceeded to the local FCC and re-grouped. I think this was the most challenging part of the shift, it was around 0430, everyone was exhausted and had worked so hard, and we had a 2 hour drive home. This was the hardest part by far, it was a slow old trip home, we stopped to rotate drivers, they were the heros of our crews, getting us back to the ESA safely under extreme fatigue. I tried to hard to keep chatting to the driver but literally had nothing left and I’m sure I had multiple mirco-naps.

Definitely catching up on some sleep! Driving home from the ESA was tough, and especially coming home to 2 kids with Brent on shift. I made sure I had a fresh meal, loads of water and some fresh air. I went to bed at 7pm and slept through to 7am the next day and felt a million dollars.

I chat to my friends, I get the most from having friends outside of work that I can just be myself with, we solve the problems of the world, and are all in the same stage of life (young kids) I am incredibly lucky to have a partner doing the same work as me, and we do discuss a lot at home and it is handy to have that person that understands.

My time spent with my family, and friends always makes me feel so lucky and grateful of my life. I also love to workout to help me feel better about myself and I always feel optimistic after a workout.

Gratitude can help us to become more optimist and resilient. What are the things these events have made you most thankful for?

My home, my family, my employment – I am so lucky that my home has not had any close calls this fire season, my husband and I are able to give our kids a great/privileged life (no poverty/homelessness/hunger etc) , and we hope they will also be grateful and humble about the life they live. Work has enabled me to make a difference in our community and give my life a sense of purpose and pride.

Do you have any words of wisdom or advice to share with your fellow first responders and those affected during this crisis?

Spend time with those that ground you and bring you happiness. Don’t be ashamed to reach out for help, or if you need to talk to someone, there are so many incredible resources available, we are so lucky to have them available.

Kerry Trow
Intensive Care Paramedic
New England

My most challenging day during the bushfires was the day an alternate lifestyle community east of Glen Innes, become victim to the ferocity of one of four large bushfires in our local area.

We were tasked (single crew) to a person with severe burns to his upper arms and listened to the patient’s experience of being over-run and severely burnt by the huge fire-front. Multiple emotions were emerging from these patients – fear, disbelief, not knowing if other family and community members were safe and not knowing if their homes were gone.

The emotional state of these patients was more challenging than their physical injuries.

Immediately after completing this case we were then tasked to multiple victims of unknown number, into the fire ground of the Wytaliba Community, which is located approximately 50km east in rough country. The community is spread across approximately 900 acres of very rough terrain and has an estimated population of 100-300.

We met a convoy of RFS vehicles who were waiting for clearance to proceed into the fire ground. Once these crews proceeded, we travelled in convoy, to approximately 10km from scene but were forced to turn around due to a wind change and fire crossing the only access into the scene. We returned to a safe staging point, set up a major incident command post and triaged and treated numerous patients.

A major challenge at the forward Command Post was containing many family members who had evacuated early and were stressed, trying to return to find other family members. There was also poor communication from the scene and an initial lack of resources.

My feelings on this day, once the case had been completed, were mainly empathy towards the small community and larger community which has been enduring the worst drought on record, scorching temperatures and now massive bushfires with no water to fight them with.

Rural Communities are very resilient normally, but many were exhausted emotionally and physically, financially strained with few reserves to draw on.

My husband and I run a cattle property and were also being affected by the drought on a personal level.

The actions I take after a difficult day include the following:

Look for the positives in all situations and appreciate what I have, there is always someone worse off.
Take timeout to defuse with colleagues and peers, take time to process the day (usually this occurs when I get home and go out to my horses). I find connecting with animals very therapeutic, they sense when you are down and offer comfort.
I defuse with my husband who is a retired police officer.
Listen to music (have a radio in my horse stables)
Exercise, go for a ride on my horse, hit the tread mill.
Ring my peer support officer
Once feeling myself, give back by helping others.

These are my strategies, developed over my 31 years in ambulance. As a PSO have I have learnt the hard way the importance of self-care.

Tim Hassiotis
Wellbeing Coordinator
Fire & Rescue NSW
NSW Fire and Rescue

What has been your most challenging day during the bushfires? Can you tell us a little about what was happening and how you felt through this day?

I have always shared a collective mindset that as a representative of FRNSW and with all the resources available at my disposal that I can affect change, saving life and property. During this campaign I have repeatedly witnessed despite resourcing and excellent crews that we cannot change outcomes and are at the mercy of fire conditions. This has been a difficult observation to grasp as 17 years of previous experience has shown me that we can save life and property. This has led to feelings of impotency as well as frustrations that people despite conditions make decisions to stay in place, jeopardising the crews and my life when we are called in to help.

I am fortunate that I have a strong family network and they do not allow me to dwell on past events. They always bring me back to the present and ensure I remain grounded. I naturally have a positive outlook, I inherently know that despite bad days, this campaign is ephemeral, things will get better, communities will recover, nature will flourish and one day I will look back on the 2019-2020 campaign as another job that I was involved in. I am proud of both mine and all of the crews efforts this campaign. Recently I was L/O at Moruya staying in the same hotel as one of the strike teams. During my time I developed a close relationship with RFS and when a particularly strong wind change occurred during severe fire conditions I contacted RFS and offered the use of the team. The hour was 2300 and the crews had worked all day, yet I knew if RFS needed assistance not one firefighter would be recalcitrant. RFS accepted my offer and within 90 seconds I had 5 appliances staffed, properly dressed and eager to help. This was a pivotal moment for me that our workforce “just got the job done”, there was no grumbling, no questions about pay just 17 firefighters doing what they do best. These moments fill me with pride to be part of such an integral agency and it is these memories that I tend to reflect on.

I have always spoken with candour to almost everyone I have developed a relationship with. This affords me the ability to share personal insight and feeling with almost anybody. The advantage is twofold in that I am never reluctant to share and that I always receive a wide range of perspectives and opinions that allow me greater breadth to reflect on.

This campaign has been difficult in regards to the free time that I have available. I have still been working in my current capacity as well as taking on multiple roles in front line firefighting. Because my free time has been so precious over this campaign I have savoured every moment I have with family and friends. I appreciate the laughter of my 6 year old or the incessant questions of my 12 year old, even the never ending chores that family life involve have taken on new meaning as I am aware that some families have lost everything, and don’t have the opportunity to undertake these mundane tasks.

Gratitude can help us to become more optimist and resilient. What are the things these events have made you most thankful for?

Being part of the family that is FRNSW, knowing that I can start the day on a strike team not knowing the crew, and that by the end of the shift I would of developed close ties to those firefighters. Our people continually make me proud, their unwavering sacrifice and ability to make cogent decisions despite the turmoil of conditions surrounding us. One of the previous strike teams I was involved in resulted in loss of major property, more than a whole career firefighting in FRNSW. When we finally stopped after working at our limit for numerous hours one benevolent member of my crew instead of eating or drinking went over to an evacuated family and engaged the children.

Do you have any words of wisdom or advice to share with your fellow first responders and those affected during this crisis?

I faced my own mortality during this campaign as I was hit by a car during firefighting efforts. In the interceding hours the support I received from the organisation was overwhelming from both the very top of the organisation to a recently recruited firefighter that I interacted with for less than 5 minutes. We are never alone and firefighters are naturally altruistic and want to help the public, but more importantly each other. Never be afraid to ask for help as you will be inundated with support.

If you feel you could benefit from additional support at this time, first responders may wish to contact a peer supporter, chaplain or their employee assistance program. Members of the public may wish to check in with their GP, or for crisis support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14. Remember, reaching out for support is always an act of resilience.

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Real resilience – stories from Australia’s first responders